Week 1: Epic Fail

I am sure in a few light years I will look back on this time and laugh...and I'll somehow know (hindsight: 20/20) WHY I started this blog at THIS point in time...at this point in my life where everything is derailing my plans to be SuperFunMom, sans the cape. Um...sans the Super...sans the Fun...

By Friday morning of last week, all I could think about was driving Natalie at supersonic speed to pre-school and flying to Yoga Flow class to hurry up and relax.

Natalie: "I don't WANT to go to school today!" Me: (super sweet high-octave patronizing mom voice) "I'm sorrrry honey! But you arrre going! You will be fiiiinnneee!!!" Put key in ignition. Turn key. Nothing. You have GOT to be kidding me! Seriously? Now? Today?!? I swear I just replaced this battery when...I was pregnant. Natalie will be 4 in a few weeks. Damn.

Call husband. Try not to hyperventilate over phone. Try not to scream profane words with 4 year old hawk-eared child in back seat. Hubby tries patiently to explain battery charger. Yes it's the one next to the garage door with the spider webs all over it. Seriously? OK it's hooked up. Nothing. Oh wait! The beep-beep noise is now on when the door is open with the key in the ignition. Try again! Nothing.

Natalie: "Mommy, why are we still here?!" Me: "Honey, the car battery is dead. I have to call Triple-A." Natalie wrinkles her forehead and cocks her head to the side. "Because we are going to get chicken nuggets?" She calls 'Chick-Fil-A', 'Triple-A' as she once got them confused when we went to buy Disney Tickets at the Triple-A office and stopped for lunch at Chick-Fil-A. I crack up laughing and realize this is the first time today I have smiled. That's my girl! "No, baby," I say, "Triple-A is different than Chic-Fil-A. They will come and fix the car battery." N: "And then we can play on the playground?" I guess she is not going to get this right now. It starts pouring rain. Of course it does.

One phone call and 2 hours later I have Robert in my garage telling me that I have a lot of corrosion on my battery. "It might be a bad battery but ya could jus try pourin' a coke on it and see if that works for ya," he coaches me. "Um...Thanks," I say. I am not going to tell Robert that in my world I just drive up to Auto Zone and let them handle it. Robert would not mind tinkering with his truck in the pouring rain but this momma duck - with her 3 year old chic in tow - knows that sometimes it's just better to feed the economy. 

I get to Auto Zone two minutes later and Zack is ready to help me. I tell him Robert's 'jus' pour coke on the corrosion' theory. Zack smiles. "How about I just test the battery with a battery testing machine?" He asks. That sounds pretty logical to me. Ten minutes and $69 later (including tax) I have a new battery with a $25 discount for being a loyal customer, plus a $12 discount because they wave the 'old battery recycle' fee when you use Auto Zone for a re-replacement battery. It's now 12:14pm and I am ready for a nap. Natalie wants to know if we are going to Triple-A now to play on the playground. I want to know if they have their liquor license yet.